Posted by: drewdice | March 16, 2011

The Defining Moments

You may have heard thought leaders remark that enlightenment, understanding and power come in the questions one asks of herself, rather than the answers given. Many people find that troubling in execution, as reflection, questions, the questions behind the questions, and getting to root issues and causes take patience, diligence, and time that, frankly, many are unwilling (it isn’t that they don’t have the time, people just don’t prioritize it in these areas) to spend.

As you have come to know (or are getting to know) me, you know that I drink the kool aid on the subject of questioning answers and self reflection as a critical component to personal and business success (they really are tied closely together).

One of the most powerful exercises in which I had the pleasure of participating was during my time as a Partner at entreQuest. This was during one of our company retreats, and we dedicated the better part of a day to self reflection and discovery. The particular exercise to which I, refer here is what I will call “Be, Do, Have”. Among other things, one goal of the exercise is for individuals to take time reflecting, considering, questioning, and answering the questions of what she wants to “Be, Do and Have”. This was a theme for our group as the year we were entering was critical for us to “Be” authentic to the purpose and goals we set, and to stop planning, analyzing, hypothesizing – and just “Be”, if that makes sense. It did for us.

My reason in bringing this to light for you is that I meet so many business owners, leaders, friends and acquaintances who seem to struggle with the very questions of:

– Who am I?
– What do I really want?
– Where am I going?
– What kind of organization do I want to build/run?
– Why is my organization not more successful?
– Why am I feeling unfulfilled?

To answer those questions, in my opinion, a great place to start is in asking more questions – specifically, what does one want to “be, do, and have”? An interesting personal “AHA” also lies in the priority order one gives to the BE, DO and HAVE. Some feel it is more important for them to “BE” certain things, with the “DO” and “HAVE” coming afterwards. It really doesn’t matter – those are personal decisions in how a person defines herself – they are important decisions, for sure, my point being noone is judging you if you define yourself by “HAVING” first, “DOING” second and “BEING” third. This is a personal exercise.

For me, it is “BE”, then “DO”, then “HAVE”. Here is an example of how it plays out for me:

BE: playful, passionate, intense, authentic, loving, responsible, proud of my contributions and legacy, spontaneous, inspiring, inspired….you get the picture
DO: celebrate a 50th wedding anniversary with JoAnn, provide a loving home for a child or children, skydive, travel internationally at least once a year, enable others to perform better than when they met me….
HAVE: an open mind, a non-judgmental soul, the means to support my family in living with freedom and without needless worry, a loving family, good friends, questions an individual answers (personally and as a business leader/owner) about him

When one has clarity in these three areas, she can then achieve clarity of purpose, and decisions on what paths to take in life, business and personal, flow naturally and logically. Clarity brings alignment, and with that comes the ability to contribute, produce, share, and give endlessly and fruitfully.

So, I ask you: What is your “BE, DO, HAVE” formula?


  1. Great post! It really put me in a reflective mode and I can admit that I should be more aware of my personal objectives and what I am looking to accomplish. Things start to become routine and we forget what our objectives are.

    This really put me in a great mood!

    • Thanks for the note, Khadir, and I’m glad the post gave you a bit of a turbo boost today.

      Clarity + focus + execution = fantastic outcomes!

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